RocketJim's

Singlish So Ho Chio

I was browsing through Talkingcock.com and came across this appeal letter to Ah Beng.

Dear Ah Beng

If I go into a toilet, and all the other cubicles are occupied except the one for disabled people, but got no disabled people around, can I use the disabled cubicle, or must I die-die tahan until a regular cubicle is freed up?

Xia Xuay


Dear Xia Xuay,

Eh, got a lot of people writing about this lately, hor. It really shows what kind of priorities Singaporeans got, that they get more too lan over whether they can use a bigger toilet than over other things like whether it痴 right to hang people for small drug offences or whether we should have a freer press or whether our low income workers are being adequately taken care of. I guess that痴 only understandable when you池e full of sai.

Anyway, I think the solution is damn simple. Go ahead and use the disabled cubicle.

Just make sure that before you go in, and when you come out, if got people around, PRETEND YOU坦E DISABLED, LOR.

You can walk with a limp like you池e damn pai kah, or make faces and drool like you池e retarded, then no one will dare to say you.

If you池e feeling pai seh about this, or like you池e somehow dishonest: don稚 scared! We at the Chap Sar Tiam Secret Society can hep団hu use disabled toilets with completely no shame or guilt ・by actually disabling you. Easy one. Just break legs, snap a vertebrae, poke one eye out・no porblem. Just come and find us at No. 6969 Geylang Lorong 69.

- AH BENG

Ahahahahaha!! So strange though, how come it's the ENGLISH-educated Singaporeans I come across so far who actually sounds more funny using Singlish? It's not that their pronounciations are way off either, they in fact are very tok kong but funnier than ah bengs when they use it. I guess the world IS getting topsy turvy.