RocketJim's

Verrrrbal Vorrrrrrmit.

I don't know why but I feel angry recently. Very angry about everything and everyone and all I could mainly think about is how to ruin someone else's life. Very sadistic.

I am soooo unhappy because I invited someone to my wedding and then realise I really don't want her at my wedding. Then why invite her? Because I thought she was OK and then I found out stuff about her and now, it's too late. Now i thoroughly detest her and the aura around her. (Yes. I am crazy like this. I am very anal about manners and energy around people AROUND me.) But alas, you can't uninvite people. I shall deal with it. I shall deal with it. I've even thought so far...to the extent about using her angbao money to donate to some charity... Her money has negative energy too. Am I crazy or what??

I can't believe how she and her scumbag of a blerhgrgsahjbrrrr affects me so much. I shall NOT let it affect me. I mean, she is dating someone with a microscopic dick and potential tranny so I mean, she's so pitiful. I should be neutral and nice, like Switzerland.

Loverboy came over the weekend to see me and I felt so much better. He is my MotherTree. Again, this may sound crazy but I believe in balances of energy. Loverboy is a gas-station of sorts for me. I recharge when I am with him and then I felt so much better. A Healer once told me I am a MotherTree to many people so.....there are plentiful of suckers around me!!!!! Bahahaha~ I need to stay focused and avoid negative energy. Yes, I am beginning to sound really crazy. Arg. No, but seriously try it. Feel your energy and of people around you. You will get what I mean.

Don't let this scare you. This is actually a character from Sagi Musume. The actor is Bando Tamasaburo. He is a professional Kabuki actor who specialises in female roles. And I think he is GORGEOUS. His performances are spellbinding and brutally beautiful. I spent a few nights glued to youtube watching Tamasaburo dance when I was particularly angry last week. When the actions of human beings get me down, I am grateful for such beauty. I haven't felt such emotions stir in me for a long time. The last time I was so spellbounded was when I watched Leslie Cheung in Farewell to my Concubine. Haunting.

Thank god for Hisaishi Joe also. He is a genius composer who made many wonderful melodies for Miyazaki Hayao's beautiful Studio Ghibli films. My particular favourite is the Howl's Moving Castle theme. It makes you fall in love.



Thank goodness. I feel better already. Ah~~~

I wonder why I was so angry? It's mad weird.