RocketJim's

Please come again!

Being in the service line myself....I admit to being particularly anal about the service rendered to me too. And being trained in Japan (Lord of all service standards), Singaporeans just cannot make it. Every food establishment I have been to recently, disappoint me. It doesn't matter if it is $20 a pax meal or $200, the service sucks. Sometimes I feel like screaming. If I ever start a school teaching these nicompoops, I will whip them so hard, they cannot have fun for months.

1. Peripheral vision. I swear the waitresses and waiters here wear blinders. It is impossible to get any attention. I was at the Royal Copenhagen Tea Lounge and with salads costing about $15, I'd expect some decent service. Nope. It took forever to get a menu and halfway through my conversation, a waitress suddenly reached over to refill the brown sugar. What's with the sullen face too? Fail!!

I don't particularly enjoy waving my hands for service. Anticipate the customers' wishes, dammit. But of course, when I am at casual places that employs students, I don't mind being ignored once in a while.

2. Small Talk. You DO NOT DISCUSS YOUR PERSONAL AFFAIRS IN FRONT OF YOUR CUSTOMERS. If a customer walks into your shop, shut up and say "welcome!". At Timbre @ The Arts House, apparently a waiter commented to his colleagues that the next group of customers are "another bunch of kids". Tsk tsk. If we pay, we are your masters.

3. Lunch. Thou shalt not tapao chicken rice and eat in the shop. It is rude and very weird to walk into a fashionwear shop and smell chicken.

4. Ninja Stalker. Approach the customer and ask if he/she needs help. If they don't, disappear into your backroom and continue your small-talk. I hate it when they follow me like Steven. Treat me like a customer, not a potential pickpocket.

5. Personal Smells. My Japanese colleagues love drinking coffee after naps in the flight. When they open their mouths, they smell like a fusion of durians and salted fish. Waiters, insurance agents and generally people who need to talk alot should pay attention to their breaths and body odor. Smokers too. Smoke only smell nice on clothes.

When I was at the Gucci store the other day, the counter staff sorta threw a wallet on the counter for my friend to see. What nerve. You want worldclass service? Sorry, not in Singapore. Not even at Ritz Carlton or St. Regis.

Me: Do you have this is white? May I see it?

Staff: You wait har.