RocketJim's

Sour Grapes

I had a pretty bad/interesting dream a few nights ago. I woke up upset yet amazed........that although everything was make-believe, the jealousy I felt was so real and acute. Towards the end of my dream, I was very displeased with a particular character but I couldn't bear to tell him so everytime he says something, I just gave short, curt replies or personal attacks.

I am really relieved it was all a dream. I particularly hate being jealous;. It is an evil thing to feel. I hate myself when I am jealous because it eats me for hours and all I do, is to wish the worst things on the person. It is worse when it is someone or something I care alot for...because then it will really hurt.

I should learn how to better cope with such negative emotions. My main problem is bottling everything inside myself. I've been told I go very very quiet when I am angry (had always thought it'll be futile to reason with people who make me angry... I mean, duh they must be stupid in the head to infuriate me anyway) and jealousy pretty much turn into anger after awhile.

Essentially, I think I need to stop caring about so many people.

From tomorrow, I shall make friends with animals only.