RocketJim's

The Elephant and the Queen
I am not happy but since I can't share it I shall talk about more interesting things: The Flamboyant Queen.

Arg, the Queen is so annoying. The first time I met him, (yes, HIM), he had both his hands and pinkies raised demanding to know if he could borrow the newspapers in the DTM's office. My mentor couldn't help him and he left huffily. It was more than half a year ago and I am sure he doesn't remember me sitting next to my mentor dumbstruck with disbelief. I was at my counter on Monday and praying the incoming crowd don't give me troubles. The Queen was there too and the first thing he said was, "Oh she left? (She, being my colleague who was sitting in for my break) What a pity, and we were beginning to have fun talking." Then he sashayed away. That's the first strike against him cuz what does he mean by that?! I am boring?! And he hasn't even begun talking to me!

15 minutes later, the Queen came back and stood near my counter. I didn't know why he had to be there but I guessed he wanted to meet the flights from Melbourne and Sydney. (He might run into blonde surfer dudes) We started some small talk but it was difficult to connect with him...mentally or spiritually. I swear I have no problems with Queens; I make friends with people of all shapes, sizes and sexual preferences. I make friends with fashion victims too but this one, I can't connect. So the Queen stood near my counter commenting on every little thing.

Example #1:

"Hello there, welcome to Singapore! Ooo you have a lovely tattoo, looks so sexy." *winks and giggles*

Example #2:

*Female pax walks to my counter and trips a little* "Ooo uh oh uh oh be careful! Phew, missed a step there. Too zealous for Information huh? Ha ha."

Example #3:

"You are most welcomed! Bye~! Tata, au revoir! Oopsie, you are German, haha I don't know how to say it but bye bye!"

The Queen is cute but I thought he didn't have to have a running commentary on things. It was particularly embarrassing when you missed a footing and you have a DJ broadcasting it 3metres around you.

Next...I have a confession to make: I attract Indians and black men. I ain't kidding and I am not being rascist here; it's more interesting than anything else. My counter is usually swarmed with them; on the MRT I sit with them and when I was in Hong Kong, they kept looking at me too. My family and friends tell me so (My mum is especially shocked). I wonder why? Just the other night, I was on my way home and was sitting with 2 Indian men in the train. Upon reaching Outram station, I was suddenly sitting with another 6. I looked at the reflection and I had to giggle to myself. I study my face everyday and I wonder which part of its anatomy attracts darker skinned men. Somebody please enlighten me?

Talking about Indian men, shall share with you the usual pains (or fun) of directing them:

Pax: Excuse me madam, I am from San Francisco on Singapore Airlines flight and now I am going to Chennai. Vhere is the GST counter?
RJ: Please walk straight all the way down end of the hall...
Pax: Go down?
RJ: No, walk straight please, this way...
Pax: Go down?
RJ: No, walk straight this way and turn to the left upon...
Pax: Then go down?
RJ: I'm sorry, my bad. Please walk straight ALL the way end of the hall, make a left turn upon...
Pax: Ok. One more question, vhere is the transit hotel? I heard it's free when I have transit of more than 12 hours?
RJ: No, it isn't free. But it's located straight that way...
Pax: Go up?
RJ: Yes, go up.
Pax: Thank you.

Indian passengers always share their life stories with you before asking a question. I didn't believe it but I am a convert now. Excuse me while I meditate.